WEEK 2 - FAIL TO PREPARE... PREPARE TO FAIL

I've lost it, and no I'm not talking about the weight!  I know we all have those times when our motivation abandons us but I guess I'm disappointed that so early on in my journey and after such a good loss last week that I couldn't find the energy to remain focused and driven.   It has made me realise though that I shouldn't be surprised by my weight when I keep such a large stash of excuses stored up for such occasions
So the week started badly, I had hardly any of the food left from last weeks overzealous shop and was reluctant to do more shopping after the sheer amount of waste, so I decided to work with what I had until I could research some recipes and create a sensible shopping list and meal plan.

So Monday comes, and I've got some chicken and veg roasting nicely in the oven and I have about 20 minutes to wait until it's ready.  Now, I'm also trying to quit smoking and avoid snacking opportunities which are the things I would normally do to fill time like this, so I decide that I'm going to walk the hallway and get my steps up on the Fitbit while I'm waiting.  I walked the hallway to the bottom of the stairs and suddenly had a full on EUREKA moment complete with cartoon lightbulb.

I remembered watching a YouTube video which showed you how to utilise your stairs for exercise and although I'm no where near crazy enough to try it, I did realise that I have a fully free and useable exercise aid right in the house.  Now I have some basic exercise equipment at home but I don't really fancy fighting all the cobwebs and years of dust to access it, its been a while!  So I'm standing at the bottom of the stairs, so pleased with my new realisation, and think I'll just do some simple step up aerobics.  This is the conversation that followed:

Brain:  Ha! Look at you all motivated and exercising and shit! #fistpumpmoment
Heart: Ermmm...
Brain:  Left, right, right, left, up, down, up, down...
Heart:  Are you sure you wanna be doing this?
Brain:  Of course! I've got time to waste and this is a perfect opportunity.
Heart:  I think you should stop, I think I'm palpitating...
Brain:  Don't be so dramatic! You're just working a bit harder... it's AEROBIC!
Heart:  OMG, I think I'm gonna break a sweat...
Brain:  Stop your whining, this is good for you, THIS is what you want remember... fitter... healthier...
Heart:  Yeah I think I've changed my mind, I'm getting sweaty and lunch is almost ready and I don't have time to shower
Brain:  Seriously?! You've done 6 steps the only thing overactive here is your imagination!!.....(pensive pause)..... But I guess you do have to be careful with your joints.... you're probably right, let's have a rest and a cigarette.

Argh! I was so mad!  And this is generally the way I've been all week.  For those of you wondering what stair workout inspired this fail, here is the link if you're crazy enough to attempt it.  https://youtu.be/jFfiT_AZX84

It wasn't until midweek that I finally started to shed the negative mood I was in and still having no food, although I was still under my calories, I was eating rubbish food.  I decided to give myself a swift kick up the arse and decided that I need to surround myself with more information and positive, motivating influences that (and I don't know if you've ever done this) gave my hands a good workout by adding an unnecessary amount of PTs, fitness gurus, health and wellbeing experts and diet chefs to everyone of my social media pages in the hope that the information and inspiration will subconsciously seep into me if I'm constantly surrounded by it but if not, at least I look really popular!

So overall, not a great week.  I eventually went shopping and bought a lot of cheap salad ingredients so that at least if there's too much it's not such an expensive excess and I'm also trying to break the habit of remaining deathly still while my Fitbit is on charge so that I don't miss any possible data recording.

Now here I am, weigh day, after having McDonald's fries and coke feeling disappointed with myself and my 2lb loss this week.  But I'm determined that next week will be more successful, not necessarily with the scales, but with my own mind-set and organisation and other non scale victories.

As always, thanks for reading, I hope you find some comfort in my downs and some motivation in my fails because I do!  I know I can do better and I'm determined to prove to myself that I'm capable and worth it and investing in yourself is your biggest and best investment opportunity.  Any comments and feedback are appreciated.

Stay motivated, we got this!

P.S. kettlebells remain in their box, exercise equipment still dusty and I haven't so much as glanced at the stairs since!